The Clarks

snow!

2012-01-18T11:31:00.000-08:00

Boise had its first real snow of the year this morning. I woke up to the most beautiful storm. I know God saved it for me! Cannon and I quickly threw on some warm clothes and ran out with Mema to enjoy it!

Idaho...again!

2012-01-16T20:55:00.000-08:00

I needed a break...and we all know there's no place like home. So off to Idaho we flew!

Our first weekend was filled with a fun trip up to the beautiful mountains of Mccall, Idaho. Our friends were kind enough to let us use their beautiful cabin. We watched movies, played games, went to a hockey game, ate some yummy local food, and enjoyed the lovely snow.

We'll see what the next week and a half has to offer my little Cannon baby and I.

idaho.

2011-11-12T19:24:00.000-08:00

My GG, aunt Marcy, Cannon and I all flew up to Idaho and surprised my dad for his 50th birthday! We've had so much fun, but wish Bryce could have joined us...when we got our tickets we thought it was the same weekend as his hunt. Turns out his hunt was last week. Maybe next time. Anyway...it was game day today. We were all decked out in our orange and blue, had a BSU party and watched the game. Boise lost for the first time on their home field in 13 years. Sad day. We still love our Broncos.

Happy (late) Halloween!

2011-11-01T09:02:00.000-07:00

We had a great Halloween weekend! The ward party turned out fantastic (if I do say so myself!) I had lots of help! On halloween, Leyla and I went out to lunch dressed in our amazing witch outfits and then did a little shopping at The Orange Patch. We're for sure making that a tradition haha! Bryce dressed as white trash (sick) and Cannon sported a vintage clown costume...vintage because it was his daddy's when he was a babe! So presh. Anyway he looked and acted hilarious! Wish I had more pictures.

lately.

2011-10-17T16:14:00.000-07:00

Life has been keeping us busy lately. I'm afraid all I'm good for in the land of Blogger is a random post ever few weeks with crappy pictures! Bryce is busy with school, and weekend work trips. He also got called to be assistant scout master in our new ward. I joke that Heavenly Father will keep putting him in scouts until he gains a stronger testimony of the scouting program! He's really excited to work with the young men though. We also got asked to be in charge of our ward Halloween party. Surprisingly, I am handling the stress of that just fine. (I've only had a few minor meltdowns!) It should be a fun time...and if it's not, they'll never ask me to plan a party again! Cannon keeps me busy, and a little insane. He says lots of words and a few people have witnessed him saying sentences like "oh my gosh" and "its just too hot!" We couldn't love him more and have so much fun with him! Our house is slowly coming along. If it were up to me, it would have been completely decorated the week we moved in, but I'm finding the universe has other plans for that timeline. I did get a new couch at goodwill for $1...unbelievable I know. Bryce about died when he came home to four couches in our living room! I just couldn't pass up that deal, and its my new favorite!

Well, that's all for now. Hope you all are doing lovely!

Pinterest...

2011-09-18T23:44:00.000-07:00

Hi. My name is Bree and I'm a pinaholic.

Come be my pinning friend.

pinterest.com/bree_clark

New "old" home!

2011-09-14T17:03:00.000-07:00

Well...we've been moved in for 4 days now. We couldn't be more happy about things. We love our house, neighborhood, and ward. Cannon and I have gone out and played in our backyard every morning. We have nice big trees, and grass! A big difference from our gravel, weed infested old backyard! We still have lots of unpacking, organizing and decorating to do. But slowly its all coming along. I for sure need to do a yard sale soon. I have WAY too many...things.

M.I.A.

2011-09-01T16:58:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been absent...blogging has been the last thing on my mind lately. We have some big changes happening at the Clark home. We are moving!! In one week! We are so happy to be moving so close to family. We're moving onto the same street as Bryce's parents, and around the corner from my gg! It's bitter-sweet leaving our first home, but we're so excited for the adventure that lies ahead. The only thing that would make it better is my family being down here (hint hint!) Anyway, hopefully when life slows down a bit I'll be back for some updates.

My baby boy!

2011-07-29T12:07:00.000-07:00

Cannon and I have been in Idaho the last two weeks, enjoying the amazing weather and spending time with my family! I will do a post of our trip later.

While up here one of our good friends, Jen Alvi, approached me about taking pictures for Cannon's first birthday. We went over to view the slide show last night and I was blown away. We cried, we laughed, we awed. This is one talented woman! I'm so grateful to be surrounded by such creative people who are willing to share their talents with me!

(and to have such a dang cute babe!)

Friends....Enjoy!

(Click on the link to watch the slide show)

Cannon turns 1!

Jen, I will never be able to thank you enough! You're amazing.

2011-07-25T00:12:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling very grateful for my life today.

I love these boys more than they'll ever know.

(photos by Missy Allen photography)

Cannons 1st!

2011-07-07T22:20:00.001-07:00

On Sunday we celebrated our precious little boys first birthday! Cannon has brought so much joy into our lives this year. I couldn't be more proud to be his mommy. I love you son.

skirts for bailey!

2011-06-25T19:25:00.001-07:00

My little sissy Bailey came and stayed with us for 2 weeks! It was so fun to have someone to do things with every day. A few weeks before she came I found a mustard yellow tablecloth at goodwill for $1. It had lace all around the edges and I knew I could use the fabric for something! So while she was her I whipped up this skirt for her (using my fav sewing blog elleapparel.blogspot.com, with a few changes.) The "pinwheel skirt" I made a long time ago and it didn't fit me so I gave it to her (tutorial for that was also from Leannes blog.)

My little man!

2011-05-31T23:01:00.000-07:00

Would you believe me if I told you this kid is walking already? He started walking about two weeks ago and is just getting stronger at it everyday.

What a stud.

He climbs off of our bed, couch, can go up and down the stairs, and I learned today he can also open mama's nail polish. He dumped it all onto the tile and then took a bath in it! What a fun day!

I love that boy.

Ps...he can't wait to see aunty Bailey in a week!!

Dear broken me-

2011-05-20T11:26:00.000-07:00

You've decided to slowly creep back into my life. The last year has been a breath of fresh air. I felt strong. I felt free, and I felt happy. I knew you were coming back by the things you started telling me. You aren't worth it. You can't do it. You're hideous. You aren't worth you're husbands love therefore he doesn't love you. You can't trust anyone. You're a bad mom. You're fat and the only way you can lose the weight is if you return to old habits. I did that. And all that brought me was more hatred and more weight gain. You lie. You told me these things and I tried to hang on to that still small voice in my heart that told me how precious I was. But your demons became too loud. They were all I could hear and eventually I believed them. Your hideous. Fat. You aren't worth being loved. They got louder and louder and I believed everyone else could hear them too. They believe them. That's what you tell me anyway. You tell me the first thing anyone thinks when they seem me is how bad I look. How much weight I've gained. You have turned me into a cruel person. The real me would never treat anyone the way you treat me. You turned me into a selfish person. The real me wouldn't think about herself so much. How much she hates herself. When you're around, I feel Satan's plan working in my life. Tricking me into thinking I have no self worth. You're hideous. You're a bad mom. Nobody loves you. You can't do it. I pray for the day you leave. I plead with Heavenly Father to take those voices away. Then I hear you...He's not listening. You don't deserve happiness. And for a moment...all the lies you've told me become just that, a lie. Because I know He is listening, and I know He wants me to be happy. I deserve that. It will come someday soon. I will be strong. Beautiful. I will be worthy of love, and I will tell myself I can do hard things, and believe it. Until then...I can hang on. Hang on to the words of my husband and family and the sweet kisses of my baby. I must be worth something to have been blessed with such a perfect little boy.

Please leave so I can see clearly again.

-The real me

Must stay sane!

2011-05-17T18:06:00.000-07:00

I've been working on some projects lately. I have a problem. It's called starting a project and not being able to finish it! I have about six unfinished projects sitting on my kitchen table. Luckily these projects were short enough to start and finish before getting bored of them! I made some cute earrings out of my ever growing stash of buttons, this fun burlap tote, and some pillows for my new couch. I have two more white ones to do, but this is what I've got so far.

Now if I could just finish my copycat Anthro Rosette comforter...

Cute kid on the block.

2011-05-09T16:22:00.000-07:00

Seriously people. I have the Cutest kid in the world. I was just complaining to my mom about him. You see, he's a total daddy's boy. Him and Bryce are bff's, and frankly I'm feeling a little left out. He sits at the door and cries for Bryce when he leaves. His eyes light up with excitement when he comes home. He would rather play with, kiss, and laugh at Bryce. I'm just boring, old, mean mom.

What the heck!

Best hair of my life!

2011-05-03T12:16:00.000-07:00

Can you guys believe how long my hair has gotten?!

Ok I know my head is tilted a bit in this picture...but seriously. I feel like I'm day dreaming every time I see it in the mirror! You see I've always had short hair. It was impossible to grow it out. Believe me...I tried. It just wouldn't grow. That is until I got pregnant. Then all of a sudden I was breaking all sorts of records with how much it was growing. And the growth continues. Hallelujah!

Sorry to all who are getting sick of hearing about it.

It's just a tad glorious for me.

P.s...

2011-05-01T22:14:00.000-07:00

Check out my amazing Craigslist find. I'm in love with this couch. There's nothing more exciting than finding something incredible for a great deal! I've had a few great finds in the last couple weeks. I'm going to slowly make some changes to my living room decor...Can't wait! I also made the cute little burlap/rosette pillow. Don't know what I'll do with it yet. I don't love it with the new couch.

Update in pics!

2011-05-01T20:36:00.001-07:00

My computer is broken. My camera is broken. So you get cell phone pictures posted from my cell phone which = ugly post! Cannon will be 10th months this week...what the heck. He's standing, attempting to walk, got 5 new teeth in one week, waves bye bye, and got his first haircut! We sure have lots of fun with him!

9 months old!

2011-04-11T20:39:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it...

In less than three months he'll be one.

Where has the time gone?

This little boy is the most perfect thing in my life.

I'm so blessed to be experiencing motherhood and to feel the unconditional love I have for him.

He sure keeps us on our toes.

He can climb the stairs in 20 seconds.

Can't hold still.

He's a total charmer.

Has two teeth.
Cupie Doll look alike.

Loves eating grown-up food.
Stands on his own for a few seconds.

Says mom and dad.
Constantly putting things in his mouth.
Has the cutest laugh you'll ever hear.
Always has at least one bruise on his head.
Tough as nails, sweet as pie. Just like his Daddy.

9 month Stats

Weight- 19.6 25%
Height- 28 in. 50%
Head Circ. 46 cm. 75%

St. Patrick Day Swim!

2011-03-17T14:29:00.000-07:00

This is why we love Arizona...

Swimming in March!

It's been hot. It got up to 90 yesterday. So me and my little Cannon ball went swimming for the first time today. The water was a little chilly but he LOVED it! So excited to swim every day this summer!

Dear Family-
Hope you're enjoying the snow up in Idaho!!
I can rub it in your face now...because in a few months I'll be sweating my bum off and you'll be making fun of us then.
Love you!

HELP!

2011-03-08T17:20:00.000-08:00

Dear all you beautiful haired ladies...yes you!

I want to know the hair products you CANNOT live without!

I use the "Matrix Vavoom Root Riser" and that's about it, but I'm

in need of some new stuff. I've been growing my hair out and lately it's

just felt...blah. (Although the baby trim I got a few weeks ago really helped. Thanks Leyla and Julianna!)

I need something that will give me some texture, volume and well, just make my hair look hot!

Please and Thank you!

Love, Me!

Update...

2011-03-05T19:37:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't updated in forever...

it's been a busy few weeks around here.

Uncle Kendall came home!

(Bryce's younger brother returned home from his mission to Chile.)

It's been so fun having the whole family together again!

We sure love him and are so proud of all he has done the last two years!

My sister Dani was in town last weekend, and my mom's been in town this week!

We also celebrated my 23rd birthday. Why does the sound so much older than 22?

(For all of the above occasions my camera was lost. Sad.)

Oh and how can I forget this weather? It's been beautiful! Can't wait to be able to take Cannon swimming...

Never mind. I can wait for that dreadful heat. Sometimes I forget how hot it gets. Yuck.

Oh Happy Day

2011-02-15T09:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a great day. I slaved in the kitchen and made a beautiful, delicious (if I do say so myself) Italian dinner.

Chicken Fettucine Alfredo with homemade sauce (seriously the most amazing sauce, thanks to Ashtyn and her mom for the recipe!)

Caesar salad and Bruschetta with fresh mozzarella,

sparkling cider, and chocolate covered strawberries!

I'm pretty sure we each consumed 10,000 calories and I'm still dreaming about that meal!

But the best part of the day...husband walking in the door after work with a bouquet of flowers and a HAIRCUT!! I told him all I wanted for Valentine's day was a haircut. I honestly did not think he was going to cut it. He's been growing it out because apparently, all studly men have long hair, Pat Tilman, Samson...I don't know anyone else. But I hated it and I'm so happy he did that for me!

Love him.

My GG offered to watch Cannon so we could have a nice evening alone but by the time Bryce got home he didn't want to drive Cannon all the way out there just to drive back out a few hours later. So he warned Cannon that he better behave...and sure enough he just sat in his bumbo on the table and stared at the candles! What a sweetheart!

In other Cannon news, (old news sorry) Cannon starting sleeping through the night, got his first two teeth and learned to crawl all in the same week! He's growing up so fast! I happened to be video taping him when he crawled for the first time.

Excuse my man voice...I lost my voice for like nine days...it sucked. At least husband thought it was cute.

To My Love

2011-02-14T20:09:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day Sugar.

I'm so grateful for the amazing husband,

best friend,

and loving daddy that you are.

I love you. So hard.

Success in Mommyhood!

2011-01-31T09:08:00.000-08:00

I would just like to inform you all that last night Cannon slept in his own bedroom...without a peep until six o'clock this morning! Yay!

So Thursday night was the start of our adventure. I slept in the guest bedroom next to the nursery so I could hear him better. He woke up crying around 2...I couldn't tell you how long he cried for cause I fell right back to sleep. A few hours later he woke up again and the same thing happened.

Friday night he woke up once around 2, cried himself back to sleep then woke up at 7.

Saturday night I thought I'd sleep in our room down the hall. Cannon woke up around 2, and cried for over an hour. It was absolute torture. I couldn't go back to sleep because I was worried something would happen to him and I wouldn't be able to hear it. Stupid I know. So I just layed there listening to his muffled sobs. It sucked. He finally fell asleep and woke back up at 8.

Last night I put him to sleep at 9:30 and didn't hear him again until 6! ooo-OOO!!

Thank you all for your encouraging words and advice!

Gosh I love this boy!

P.S. Sorry for all the baby posts lately. Leyla and I have a fun surprise coming your way soon!

Bedtime!

2011-01-27T13:30:00.000-08:00

I'm in the process of training Cannon to

1. Sleep in his crib (instead of the bassinet in our room)

2. Sleep through the night.

When I say I'm in the process of it, I really mean I've tried it once, in the middle of the night for about 45 min.

After hearing all that screaming, and being afraid of getting the "I love you mom, but I really don't like you" look in the morning, I got him out.

Fail.

But I'm sick of not getting any sleep. (What happened to my baby that used to sleep 8 hours straight?) So tonight I'm getting me some caffeine and a nice project to do...maybe some ear plugs, and that boy will stay in his crib all night!

Love him.

S.O.S. please...

2011-01-24T15:37:00.000-08:00

There are dishes in the sink. (I'm pretty sure ALL the dishes are in the sink)

I have to go to the grocery store. I hate the grocery store

Loads of laundry to do.

Clothes to fold.

Floors to be mopped.

Toilets to be scrubbed.

And yes...my Christmas tree is still up.

I'm overwhelmed. There are women who have five kids and still find the time/energy/desire to get everything done. Sometimes I question my ability to be a housewife. I put things off and then all of a sudden I have this massive list of things that need to be done. And here I sit, blogging away, holding my sleeping babe, instead of working on those chores.

A few things I am sure of...

I am capable of giving this little boy all the love in the world.

I am capable of loving his daddy with all my heart.

I can teach him about Jesus, and sunbeams...

And being respectful and kind to everyone.

I can sing to him, and rock him, and make him laugh...

...even if my house is a mess.

My baby does push ups!

2011-01-17T18:21:00.000-08:00

The Mall Game and Christmas Eve

2011-01-04T20:29:00.000-08:00

When we moved up to Idaho, we started a new tradition with a bunch of families in the ward. Sometime during the month of December we meet at the mall and half a gift exchange. We each draw a name, and get three dollars to spend on that person. People find some crazy things for $3!

Everyone was nice enough to wait till a few days before Christmas so Bryce and I could be there for it. We had a blast! I really appreciate everyone fitting it into their hectic schedules!

Funny honey!

My sissy's.

Of course Mom and I had to try on some hats!

Some guys in this boot store absolutely loved Cannon...They said he was the

"GQ baby of the year!" ha.

We thought it would be fun to wear our ugly sweaters for Christmas Eve. Dani and Bailey even got one for Cannon...I thought it was pretty cute! I think we all decided Bryce won best sweater award!

Opening Christmas jammies! (This headband was my gift from the mall game. We loved putting it on Cannon!)

My GG sent a box of presents for all of us to play White Elephant. We each got a funny hat. Thanks GG...it was so fun!!

Road Trippin...and such.

2011-01-03T14:41:00.000-08:00

Happy new year friends!!

I can't believe how time has flown by. Today my baby is 6 months old.

Oh my heck . Boo.

My new years resolutions are,

1. Strengthen my relationship with my Savior.

2. Get skinny.

That's it. I can think of a million things I need to work on, but that would get too overwhelming, so I chose the two I thought would make me most happy!

Anyway...

We had a wonderful vacation! We spent Christmas with my family in Idaho.

PS...yesterday in our new Sunday school class (there's like 17 12 & 13 year olds) Bryce and I played "Two truths and a lie" so we could get to know our class better. My lie was " I grew up on a farm in Idaho." Nobody guessed right so I told them that I did grow up in Idaho, but not on a farm. One of the boys then said "I thought everyone in Idaho lived on a farm."

Seriously? Do people really think that?

I lived in a neighborhood.

I went to a 5A high school.

And hello, there was a mall like ten minutes away.

Now that we have that all cleared up...Moving on.

I have like a billion pictures from our trip, so I decided to break it down into a few different posts.

On the way up, we stopped in Manti to stay with Bryce's aunt and uncle. I love that town. So charming and quaint. We were able to go to our favorite burger joint there, Fred's. If you're ever in Manti, go there. It's amazing! The next morning we got snowed in and weren't able to finish the rest of our drive until later that day. Which ended up being just fine...Arlene started to teach me how to crochet, while Troy and Bryce played in the snow...they said they were "working!" Whatever :)

At the beginning of December, I asked Leyla if she would take our family pictures. They turned out perfect! I promised her if I put them on my blog, I would tell you all that she doesn't think she is a professional photographer!

I knew she would do a wonderful job though and I absolutely love them!

Thank you thank you!

Here are some of my favorites.

More updates on the way!

Hope you all had a fun Holiday season!

My happy baby!

2010-12-27T13:52:00.000-08:00

2010-12-26T13:31:00.000-08:00

Hope you had a Holly Jolly Christmas!


Christmas Eve

I'll be back to update once vacation is over!

Yaba Daba Dooo!

2010-12-15T11:34:00.000-08:00

I know...Christmas is next week, and I am putting up our Halloween pictures?!

I'm sorry. It's a bit of a mood spoiler, but I just got these pictures from Leyla and had to put them up. Cause let's face it...we had the cutest costumes this year! Leyla and I spent weeks making our costumes...and by weeks I mean we got together for weeks saying we were going to make our costumes but really put it off until the day before Halloween! We went to Cody and Leyla's ward trunk or treat with them. They decorated the Rhino like the Flintstone mobile and Leyla brought a cotton candy machine! So fun!

Update!

2010-12-13T21:47:00.000-08:00

We had an eventful week last week. It included Temple Christmas lights with the Clarks, a fun trip to St. George for a wedding, and the birth of our beautiful niece, Rocklyn Delight!

Cannon is his daddy's boy! He was trying so hard to get a sip of that Dr. Pepper!

The little girls loved Cannon...and he loved all the attention!

First cousin picture!

Cannon was sad baby Rocky was crying!

These four pictures were taken in about a four second span! Can we say Bipolar baby?

2010-12-05T14:14:00.000-08:00

Cannon is all ready for our roadtrip to Idaho for Christmas!

The countdown is on...

15 days!

Ashtyn's shower!

2010-12-03T16:30:00.000-08:00

Delight and I helped Charde throw Ashtyn a baby shower for the sweet little princess coming into our family!

It was so fun, and turned out super cute!

Thank you Leyla for letting me use some of your cute decorations!

This was the only picture I got of Ash. Sorry your eyes are closed Delight! You still look beautiful!

2010-11-22T21:02:00.000-08:00

It has been a long week...

and it's only Monday. Yuck.

Don't ya'll just hate getting a bad start to the week?

So, in an attempt to turn my frown upside down,

here are some happy moments.

Cannon had his first taste of rice cereal last week.

I cried. He's growing too fast.

But he loved it...and slept a long time that night!

This is Cannon's temper tantrum face. Haha.

Dear Son,

It's not a good thing to have such a funny mad face,

cause then mom might try to make you mad on purpose...just for laughs.

Love you.

Can you tell I'm a little obsessed?

Yum...I love the Holidays.

And I REALLY love this guy.

Plus it's Thanksgiving this week...and that's just the start of all the Holiday cheer!

Ok I feel a tiny bit better. I just need to go to bed.

2010-11-18T10:42:00.000-08:00

My baby is now sitting up on his own...

Goodbye newborn.

It's PRACTICALLY here!!

2010-11-16T12:48:00.000-08:00

The Christmas decor is up in our house...

and all I have to show for it are stupid cell phone pics.

Our camera is broken and that's why I've been a bad blogger.

I'm sorry friends.

We're hoping to find a new one on Black Friday,

and then hopefully this blog will come back to life!

Happy Happy Birthday!

2010-11-10T09:28:00.000-08:00

Dear Dad-

Today is your birthday...you are getting closer and closer to ~~officially being an old man~~. Scratch that. You already are an old man. Hello, you're a GRANDPA! A mighty fine grandpa in fact! We're so excited to come see you for Christmas. I love you so much and I'm so grateful for the relationship I have with you. Thank you for all you have done for our family over the years...you for sure deserve your motorcycle...maybe not the boots though :D (mom told me!) I hope you have a fun day! Wish I was there to share it with you.

Love you, Bree

Holly Jolly.

2010-11-07T22:14:00.000-08:00

We can't wait for Christmas around here!

The tree's going up either this week or next. Yay!

Leyla you game for a tree decorating party? There will be Christmas cookies, santa hats and of course, The Grinch!

The countdown is on till our trip to Idaho...

Hopefully Cannon's first Christmas will be a white one!

Ps. Sorry I haven't done another Parade of Homes post, my camera is broken :(

2010-11-04T18:12:00.000-07:00

I got an e-mail from my mom this week...attached was a Relief Society lesson on Self-Esteem given by her best friend Lynn Allred on Sunday. As I read the lesson, I cried, laughed, and felt hope. I think every woman in the world needs to read it. It's a little long, but you will not be disappointed if you take the time to read it. Promise.

It's amazing.

My assignment for today was to come up with a 30-minute lesson on self esteem. It is particularly appropriate that we talk about this today on Halloween. Perhaps together we can exorcise a few demons that many of us struggle with. I seek an interest in your faith and prayers and invite the spirit of the Lord to be with us.

Some of you will recognize some of this material. That’s OK. I am part of the Gospel Green Movement. I believe in recycling.

I would like to begin with one of my favorite poems.

I’ve Got an Incredible Headache

By Jack Prelutsky

I’ve got an incredible headache,

my temples are throbbing with pain,

it feels like a freight train with two locomotives

is chugging about in my brain.

I’m sure I can’t stand it much longer,

my skull’s being squeezed in a vise,

as regiments march to the blaring of trumpets,

and thousands of tap-dancing mice.

My head’s filled with horrible noises,

there’s a man mashing melons inside,

someone keeps drumming on bongos and plumbing,

as porpoises thrash in the tide.

An elephant herd is stampeding,

a volcano is blowing its top,

and if I keep hitting my head with this hammer,

I doubt that my headache will stop.

As Latter-day Saint women, I suspect that we are the most practiced of any other group on the planet at this sort of “hammer abuse.”

Disclaimer: I want you to know that I feel like I have a sound understanding of the principles and the doctrine that are associated with this issue, but I have a ready supply of my own hammers with which I struggle. I happen to be the messenger today, but it’s not because I have achieved perfection with the issues I have been asked to address.

Also, no matter how true the principles are that we are going to talk about today, if you are someone who is challenged with any kind of chemical imbalance, I know that a healthy self esteem can seem especially out of reach. I have watched people that I love dearly struggle mightily with their self esteem, and it hurts me profoundly.

Years ago, Neal A. Maxwell spoke to this issue. He spoke,

“. . .not to the slackers in the Kingdom, but to those who carry their own load and more; not to those lulled into false security, but to those buffeted by false insecurity, who, though laboring devotedly in the Kingdom, have recurring feelings of falling forever short.”

I imagine that that paragraph could describe everyone in this room at some point in their lives.

He continues:

“The first thing to be said of this feeling of inadequacy is that it is normal. There is no way the Church can honestly describe where we must yet go and what we must yet do without creating a sense of immense distance. Following celestial road signs while in telestial traffic jams is not easy.” (Neal A. Maxwell, “Notwithstanding My Weakness,” Ensign, Nov. 1976, 12)

Which is why we, as Latter-day Saint women, are so adept, almost gifted really, at beating ourselves up. We know more than any other group of women. We know what’s required, and we are constantly measuring ourselves against that real, eventual standard of perfection, and even the imagined standard of perfection that we hallucinate exists in other women. Their perfect homes, their perfect marriages, their perfect children, their perfect grandchildren, (except mine really is) their perfect lives.

There is a difference between self esteem and self worth. I learned this from Brother Brad Wilcox. He told the story of a man who bought his wife some diamond earrings. He had to really stretch to buy these earrings. When the woman opened them, she never dreamed they were real. She thought they were cubic zirconia and so she treated them like that. She would take them off and leave them around the house. One day, sure enough, she lost one. Her husband saw her looking for it and asked her what she was doing. She told him that she’d lost one of the earrings he gave her, and when she saw the look of panic on his face, she realized how valuable the earrings were. The value of the earrings never changed. The way she esteemed the earrings changed. Our value never changes regardless of how we are esteemed by others or even by ourselves. As we realize our own eternal worth, our self esteem will increase. (Building Self-Esteem in Our Children and Ourselves, 10/3/2002, BYU, Families Under Fire)

I would like to start at the beginning—actually even before the beginning.

In order to grasp these concepts, you have to know who you are. Sometimes in order to understand who you are, you have to understand who you’re not.

you’re not your percent body fat (or your pants size or your bra size).

you’re not your stretch marks, your varicose veins, your pasty white skin, your fine lines and wrinkles or the mole on your face with the hair that never stops growing.

you’re not your house, or your square footage.

you’re not your car. Or your husband’s car. (I especially want you to know that I am not my husband’s car that is held together with duct tape and bungee cords.)

you’re not your career (or your lack of a career).

you’re not your husband’s career.

you’re not your annual income or your stock portfolio or your overdraft notices.

you’re not the number of carats in your engagement ring.

you’re not your IQ.

you’re not the number of volumes of classical literature you’ve read.

you’re not your college GPA or your diplomas. (or your children’s GPA)

you’re not your trophies or awards.

you’re not your vocal range.

you’re not the number of instruments you play.

you’re not the clutter in your bedroom, or your teenage son’s bedroom.

you’re not the foot high stack of papers in your office.

you’re not your unfinished home improvement projects.

you’re not the number of scrapbook pages you’ve completed. (2)

you’re not your medical history.

you’re not the number of varieties of roses you grow.

you’re not your past sins.

you’re not your calling.

you’re not your husband’s calling.

you’re not the number of scriptures you have memorized.

you’re not your recipe repertoire.

you’re not your children, or your children’s accomplishments, or your children’s lack of accomplishments.

you’re not your husband, or your ex-husband

you’re not your marriage or your divorce.

you’re not the carton of chocolate ice cream you had for breakfast (I added that one on Tuesday. Right after I had consumed a carton of chocolate ice cream for breakfast.)

Now, don’t misunderstand. Certainly, we have responsibility for and stewardship over everything we’ve been given including material blessings and relationships. But too often, who we really are gets buried under and lost in piles of unpaid bills, broken appliances, flat tires, increasing waistlines, weeds, ring around the collar, knothead teenagers, steadily decreasing estrogen levels, crusty kitchen floors, and struggling relationships. In short, who we really are is lost in the minutia of mortality. We allow the celestial and eternal to be completely obscured by the telestial and temporal.

One of the worst things we do is compare ourselves to others. I am still getting to know a lot of you from the “other side.” Just last week in relief society, I said to Wendi Webster during the opening song. “Is Kathleen as pleasant as she looks?” Wendi said “Totally.” I said, “She oozes this amazing angelic glow.” And then I thought, “I want that.” Some of you who know me know that one of the deepest desires of my heart is to be sweet.

Not too long ago, I was thinking about my parents, who happen to be very sweet. I was mindlessly putting on my makeup and kind of pondering and praying. How did I miss that sweetness that my parents exemplify? Heavenly Father, how did I not get any of that sweetness?

At that moment, I received probably the most profound revelation I have ever received. A voice spoke to my mind and to my heart and said, “Sweet people can’t do the work I need you to do (policy work at the UN and elsewhere that is very difficult and very ugly). I have work for sweet people, and I have a work for you. I gave you that grit so that you can do what I need you to do. It’s a gift. BUT. . . you have GOT to learn to temper it in your relationships.”

Listen and see if you fit this description as written by one gospel scholar:

“We can be so cruel to ourselves; we destroy ourselves with our negative self-talk. We see only the raw material, much of it yet undeveloped, and we block from our awareness many already godlike qualities in us. We throw a wet blanket over all this divine fire. We decline to acknowledge the divinity that is developing in us through the challenges that life has presented to us for this very purpose. And we are ready to argue—in a most ungodly way—with anyone who tries to tell us something to the contrary. This refusal to accept our developing divinity is a sort of blasphemy and a denial of the purposes of the plan of salvation; it diminishes the effectiveness of our service and inhibits our full surrender to the Lord Jesus Christ. There is no real settled contentment, no real enlarging of the soul to meet real opportunities and possibilities, until we find out own divine fire.” (“When We Come to Ourselves,” Selected Writings of M. Catherine Thomas, p. 254.)

Who you are is in reality who you were.

Charles Penrose taught this:

“The knowledge of our former state has fled from us. . . and the veil is drawn between us and our former habitation. This is for our trial. If we could see the things of eternity, and comprehend ourselves as we are; if we could penetrate the mists and clouds that shut out eternal realities from our gaze, the fleeting things of time would be no trial to us, and one of the great objects of our earthly probation or testing would be lost. But the past has gone from our memory, the future is shut out from our vision and we are living here in time, to learn little by little, line upon line, precept upon precept.” (Charles Penrose, in Journal of Discourses, 26:28)

Much of the purpose of mortality is to figure out who you are by figuring out who you were and who you have been for the past six thousand or so years. And of course, not only who you were, but who you ultimately will become.

Brad Wilcox said, we never get mad at seeds for not being flowers. No one would ever march into the store where you purchased a packet of seeds and complain demand your money back because the shriveled up ugly little brown things in the seed packet didn’t match the picture on the front. We would be smart enough to realize that those seeds have potential in the seeds we would be smart enough to nurture the potential. Rather than condemn the seed for not looking like a flower.

Mediocre comes from the Latin word mediocris which means halfway up the mountain. It’s a point at which we all must pass on our way to the top of the mountain. All of us pass through mediocrity on our way up the mountain. (Building Self-Esteem in Our Children and Ourselves, 10/3/2002, BYU, Families Under Fire)

As mortals, we are really amphibians. Half mortal, half spirit. We are involved daily in the struggle for the soul.

I love the story of the old Cherokee who was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A battle is raging inside me ... it is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The old man fixed the children with a firm stare. "This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."

They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee replied: "The one you feed."

Which part of you are you feeding? There are lots of ways we feed these wolves. One of the ways we do it is by our thoughts, with your own self talk. So which part of you receives the most fuel? The real, divine, spiritual, eternal you? Or the temporary, fallible, struggling, mortal you?

The truth is that it’s not so much what happens to us in life, as what we think about what happens to us.

President Kimball observed that “Man alone, of all creatures of earth, can change his thought pattern and become the architect of his destiny.” (Spencer W. Kimball, The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982), 28)

We tend to move in the direction of our most dominant thought pattern. So if your thought patterns with regard to how you esteem yourself are negative, which direction will you move?

Another way to say it is, “That which we focus on enlarges.” If you are focusing on the negative aspects of anything or anyone including yourself, I guarantee you that the negativity will enlarge. On the other hand if you are focusing on the positive aspects of anything or anyone including yourself, I guarantee you that it is enlarging in a positive way.

The gospel provides us with beautiful doctrine and law and theory and principle, but sometimes the actual tools can be somewhat elusive. There are many scientists, health professionals and wise individuals who have “been there done that” and who understand the “how” when it comes to applying the truths that we know. It would be inappropriate to talk about that today, but I have a list of Telestial books that have taught me a lot about how you can control your feelings and the direction you are moving by understanding and controlling what you think. I can provide that list upon request.

Now, besides being amphibians, we are also spiritual schizophrenics. And I mean no disrespect to you schizophrenics in the room. We hear voices. But how can you determine the source of the voices? Elder Maxwell:

“We can distinguish more clearly between divine discontent and the devil’s dissonance, between dissatisfaction with self and disdain for self. We need the first and must shun the second, remembering that when conscience calls to us from the next ridge, it is not solely to scold but also to beckon.” (Neal A. Maxwell, “Notwithstanding My Weakness,” Ensign, Nov. 1976, 12)

Here’s the bottom line. If the voice you hear leaves you feeling weaker, or more doubtful of your ability to overcome weakness, or if it continues to remind you of past mistakes and sins that you have already repented of, or if it makes you feel like giving up, or if you hear the words moron, idiot, jerk, dipstick, lame-o, creep, brat or loser, you can just know that voice is not from the Lord.

On the other hand, if the voice you hear makes you feel stronger, if it gives you a greater desire to improve yourself, if it makes you want to try harder, or try again, you can know it is from the correct source.

When you’re evaluating these voices, you have to remember that,

“. . .we [must] allow for the agency of others (including our children) before we assess our adequacy. Often our deliberate best is less effectual because of someone else’s worst.” (Neal A. Maxwell, “Notwithstanding My Weakness,” Ensign, Nov. 1976, 12)

[Michael Wilcox. This talk can be found at http://www.byub.org/findatalk/. Type ‘Wilcox’ in the search box, click on ‘page 2’, The talk is called Faith, Hope, and Charity by S. Michael Wilcox, BYU Education Week (8/18/1997). The excerpt I used can be found at 35 minutes and 12 seconds.]

Remember that “Self-contempt is of Satan; there is none of it in heaven. We should, of course, learn from our mistakes, but without forever studying the instant replays as if these were the game of life itself.” (Neal A. Maxwell, “Notwithstanding My Weakness,” Ensign, Nov. 1976, 12)

After you remember out WHO you are, you have to remember WHOSE you are.

George Q. Cannon wrote this:

Now, this is the truth. We humble people, we who feel ourselves sometimes so worthless, so good-for-nothing, we are not so worthless as we think. There is not one of us but what God’s love has been expended upon. There is not one of us that He has not cared for and caressed. There is not one of us that He has not desired to save and that He has not devised means to save. There is not one of us that He has not given His angels charge concerning. We may be insignificant and contemptible in our own eyes and in the eyes of others, but the truth remains that we are children of God and that He has actually given His angels charge concerning us, and they watch over us and have us in their keeping.” (George Q. Cannon, Gospel Truth.)

The truth is that you really are the daughter of a God.

One of the fiercest weapons in the adversary’s arsenal is to keep that information, both WHO we are and WHOSE we are, from us.

Let’s get to the cosmic bottom line of self worth. The pursuit of self esteem is a crock.

The scriptures don’t mention self esteem, self worth, or self image. And there’s a reason. It’s because the Lord knows a better way for his children to flourish than for us to focus on increasing our self esteem. It’s a diversion to distract us from the real issue.

Let’s dissect this scripture:

Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven. Doctrine and Covenants 121:45

Confidence is defined as “a state of mind or a manner marked by freedom from uncertainty or embarrassment.”

Virtue—“moral excellence and righteousness.” The Latin root means strength.

Here is the corker. You have to have charitable bowels.

Catherine Thomas:

“If one grand objective of earth life is to gain access to the grace of Jesus Christ for our divine development, we will immediately realize that self-confidence is a puny substitute for God-confidence.” (“The Doer of Our Deeds,” Selected Writings of M. Catherine Thomas, p. 244)

It’s not self esteem we seek, it’s God esteem. Not self image, but in fact, it’s Christ’s image in our countenances that we seek. It’s not preoccupation with self, but the absence of self that the scriptures teach.

Love and virtue are the essential ingredients in feelings of confidence and security. And the truth is that the pursuit of self esteem usually generates anxiety, while increasing humility, faith and discipleship produces consolation and peace and rest.

We can’t speak of loving and being gentle with ourselves without talking about being loving and gentle with each other. President Monson addressed this in the last Relief Society broadcast. Someone I love a lot has spent some time going to Al-anon meetings. She has said over and over how at every meeting she goes to she feels overwhelming unconditional love. She told me that she thinks that that’s how Relief Society is supposed to feel. I heard someone say that if the Savior were coming to their house, they wouldn’t clean it because they knew he wouldn’t judge them. But if their visiting teachers were coming over, they’d break out the vacuum cleaner and the dust rag. Sisters, we have a lot of work to do.

Finally, C.S Lewis writes this,

"Until you have given up yourself to him you will not have a real self. Your real, new self will not come when you are looking for it. It will come when you are looking for Him. Give up yourself and you will find yourself. Lose your life and you will save it. Nothing that you have not given away will ever really be yours. Look for yourself and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him and with Him, everything else thrown in." (C.S. Lewis, Beyond Personality, p. 45)

Thank you Lynn! I really needed to hear this!
And thank you mom for passing it along!

4 months

2010-11-03T21:39:00.000-07:00

My little baby is four months old today.

Every day he melts our hearts more and more.

I am so grateful for the chance I have to experience motherhood,

and to feel the love in my heart that I have for that boy.

It's pure bliss.

Cannon's favorite song...

"I love Cannon

He loves me

We love Daddy

Yes Siree

He loves us

and so you see...

We are a happy family!"

He loves...

Bath time. Kick kick kick, splash splash splash!

All the attention he can get.

Laughing, smiling, anything that has to do with happiness :D

Mommy singing.

Looking at himself in the mirror.

Sucking on his hands.

Moms hair.

His binky and silky.

He absolutely adores daddy.

Standing in dad's hands!

Getting his feet rubbed with lotion (He's his mamma's boy!)

4 month stats-

weight 15.7 (75%)

height 24.25 inches (25%)

head circumference 42 cm (50%)

Cannon-

I'll love your forever.

I'll like you for always.

As long as I'm living,

My baby you'll be.

2010-10-26T21:01:00.000-07:00

I want to re-do our bedroom.

Here's the inspiration board I created for it.

Too bad I don't have the means nor the energy to do it.

Someday.

Until then I have this board to obsess over.

Bubba...

2010-10-25T16:23:00.000-07:00

Could my baby be any cuter?

Seriously.

I sent Bryce this picture with the caption...

"I'n dust pwacticing my boxing dad!"

haha.

(sorry they're a little fuzzy...phone pics)

Parade of Homes!

2010-10-19T10:42:00.000-07:00

So here's the deal...

I love seeing other people's homes.

A few month's ago, my cousins and I had a "Parade of Homes."

Some of us hadn't seen each others houses, so we all met at one house

and did a home tour, then did a caravan to the next.

So fun. (I have some talented family with the cutest houses!)

So I thought it would be fun to do a Parade of Homes Blog Style.

Once a week (or maybe twice, or I might just get it all done

in one week) I'll post pictures of a different room in my house.

Now I know a lot of you have already seen my house,

but hopefully there's some that haven't.

Anyway I would love for you to join me so this isn't a one stop parade.

I know not everyone has every room in the house decorated (I sure don't)

so you can post pics of your favorite room, or just half of the rooms!

If you do, let me know so I can come take a tour!

Let's get started!

Room #1...

Family Room

2010-10-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

Love this boy.

Love his daddy.

Love my life.

Happy Birthday!

2010-10-08T15:07:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Mema and Granny D!

We love you both and wish you were here to eat cake with us!

Today is the birthday of the two most special women in our lives!

Crazy both of our moms have the same birthday....the same year too!

We wish you were here to celebrate with us. Thank you for all you do for us.

We love you!

2010-10-04T18:58:00.000-07:00

I have managed to get a few projects done lately...

numero uno = this skirt

LOVE it!

a. it was easy to make.

2. the fabric was super cheap.

c. it's so comfy!

I think I'll make me a few of them.

numero dos, tres, quatro...

So the last few weeks Leyla and I have been making headbands to help her raise money for the Susan G. Komen 3 day Breast Cancer walk. I know, she's amazing right? So anyway, I just had to make a few for myself.

Yes, I am aware of the spots on my mirror.

Well that's all for now folks.

2010-10-03T23:36:00.000-07:00

Here's to two years of loving you shug.

Thanks...

For being my best friend.

For reminding me through the hard days, that our love is whats most important.

For encouraging and supporting me.

For telling me I'm a good mom.

For thinking I'm beautiful...and always knowing when I need to hear that.

For working so hard so I can stay home with our babe.

For making such a cute kid with me!

I love you Bryce. Happy Anniversary.

And Happy 3 months to you Cannon boy.

We sure do adore you.

(Even if you HATE it when I pull out the camera!)

2010-09-28T11:48:00.000-07:00

My baby sure knows how to break it down...

(Sorry it's sideways. Anyone know how to flip them?)

Fall wish list...

2010-09-25T12:33:00.000-07:00

via Anthropologie

via Gap

via Anthropologie

via Forever 21

via Anthropologie

Dear Fashion Fairies-

YUMMY! Send some of these my way. Or send me a large check, and I'll go pick them up myself. Thanks. Bree

Help!

2010-09-23T12:17:00.000-07:00

Cannon has his first cold.

Any tips from you mommy's out there?

...at least he can still give me those heart melting smiles!

Proof...

2010-09-22T10:54:00.001-07:00

...my family is hilarious.

This weekend was my aunts 50th birthday. On our way to her house we noticed her beautiful face plastered all down Gilbert Rd. If you don't know my GG, she really goes all out with these kinds of things. She had us all meet at Marcy's, pile into cars and drive through the neighborhood honking our horns, with Marcy tied to a wheel chair in the back of a truck...OK she wasn't really tied down. She cooperated nicely!

Here is Marcy in the cute costume she was forced to wear!

Just a few of the signs GG made.
Hot Mama! Each car had a balloon tied to it.

In the beginning, she was all smiles and waves.By the end...she looked a little dead.

Happy Birthday Marcy! You were a great sport! Love you.

Busy Week!

2010-09-15T10:09:00.000-07:00

My beautiful little sissy got married last weekend!

They got married here in Mesa, so all the family came into town again!

Loved it!

Is she not the most stunning bride ever?

I did her hair and makeup for both their pictures, and wedding. I had lots of fun giving marriage advice, and talking about their wedding night. Ha. Luckily I had plenty of babysitters who were more than willing to watch Cannon so I could spend that time with Dani.

I slaved over these sashes for the bridesmaids. It felt like I was making a billion. It was actually only seven...and my aunt Donnie made five of the actual bands (Thanks Donnie!) So it wasn't THAT much work. But when you have a little babe that wants to be held whenever he's awake, and sometimes asleep, things take much longer! I also made Cannon a matching tie. Once we get the pictures back from the photographer I'll post them. The wedding was to die for, and the whole wedding party looked awesome! Thank you Leyla for coming and decorating the dessert tables. I know I said I was going to help you and all I really did was keep you company! It was GORGEOUS!

Seriously people, this girl is the master!

And then there was this guy. I have a whole new appreciation for motherhood and all that mommy's get accomplished during the day. I never realized how hard and tiring it would be to take care of a baby and also do all the little things that need to get done. Don't get me wrong, I would not trade it for anything in the world. I just think mom's are like freaking superman.

Now I better get started on all the house work that was put on the back burner, cause I'm pretty sure it will take me the next two weeks to get it all done!

Cabin Trip!

2010-09-07T21:33:00.000-07:00

We went up to the cabin in Strawberry over the weekend. We had lots of fun playing games, spot lighting, watching movies, swimming at Fossil Creek, and going shooting. It was a relaxing weekend and we had so much fun spending time with family.

There was a pack of about ten javelina hanging around outside the cabin. They are HIDEOUS.

Family shadow picture! Yes, Bryce is giving Cannon bunny ears.

Cannon and mommy hung out in the car.

Happy Birthday My Love.

2010-09-03T22:47:00.001-07:00

Today is my Sugars 24th birthday!

*He started out the day by waking at the crack of dawn to test his new shotgun!

*His sweet mama surprised him and came and drew a cute chalk picture on our driveway before she went to work

*Got a sale at work

*Went shopping with his favorite wifey and little bubba.

*Then finished the day off with some yummy BBQ and awesome best friends!

I love you so hard Shug. You're my very best friend. ("And you're mine too Todd!")

I hope your day was special.

Leyla took a few pics of Cannon for Bryce's b-day. (By a few....I mean like 150) Too bad he's not a fan of the camera. Somehow she managed to get some cute ones through all the tears.

Leyla- You're the best! Thank you thank you.

The boys of fall!

2010-08-29T23:57:00.000-07:00

Fall is quite an exciting time in the Clark family.

Hayden had his first high school football game Friday night...

In case you didn't know, the Clark boys are studs.

Hayd is playing on the Varsity team at Westwood as a sophomore this year and

we've been super pumped for the season to start! I believe

Mitchell's games start next month and we can't wait for those either!

Cannon's already a huge football fan!

Love you boys! Good luck this season. We'll be rootin for you!

PS...Sometimes I get a little embarrassed by Bryce's hootin and hollerin during the games. So honey, if I sit a few rows down next game, know I still love you, and I still think you're a total hunk!

Oh duh. I didn't even get a picture of the big star. Next time.

Back to school!

2010-08-23T13:19:00.000-07:00

This morning was Bryce's first day of school.

Last night his mom asked if we were going to take a picture by the front door (tradition)...

Heck yeah, I told her. Bryce laughed and said

"Yeah right, you won't wake up at 7:00 am."

Wait, wait, wait.

Rewind

Excuse MUAH?

Oh that's right, remember how the last 7 weeks you have slept soundly through

the middle of the night and all crazy hours of the morning as I wake up to feed our son!?

Yes dear, I will be up at 7 am with my camera ready!

So here you go Delight!

I really am so proud of Bryce. Up until recently it has been really hard for him to stay motivated for school. He has now decided he wants to become a P.A. and for the first time is really excited about school. I've always known that Bryce would do amazing at whatever he chooses to do, he just needed to find something he'd enjoy. So we'll see what happens, but for now that's the game plan!

I've really missed him this morning,

but at least I've got this little munchkin keeping me busy!

I love being a mom, but I must admit, it does get a little lonely talking in baby talk all day. I can just see my social skills walking out the door.

Peace out.
Then I remember it's all worth it when I see this handsome face!
In other news...we've been enjoying some awesome monsoon storms this week.
Cannon played in his first one Saturday night.
Loved it!

2010-08-18T17:11:00.000-07:00

Is he the most precious little man in his hunting gear or what?

Ok, ok it's not legit hunting gear.

Gotta love Baby Gap!

This smile kills me!

Learning how to stand! Love those legs.

Daddy spoiling him with kisses!

Anthro Inspired!

2010-08-13T17:00:00.000-07:00

So this top is super cute right? Well $58 isn't in the budget.

But FREE is!

So I took two shirts that i haven't worn in a while, a little scrap lace and made my own.

So suck on that Anthropologie!

You and your cute, ridiculously priced clothing.

So what do we think people?

PS, I realized while making this shirt...a project that should take me an hour,
now takes me 3 days.
Thank you Cannon, you little pumpkin!

Cannon's Nursery.

2010-08-11T16:16:00.000-07:00

I never posted pics of Cannon's room after I finished it.

I still have a few things I want to add...

Like some super cute antique bird cages I found online.

I want to hang them from the ceiling above the chair.

I also want to frame his blessing outfit,

and need to finish a few more projects.

But who knows when I'll get all that done,

so here's what you get for now!

2010-08-10T12:38:00.000-07:00

Cannon could not get any more perfect.

Can you believe this kid has slept seven hours straight the last three nights?

PERFECT I TELL YOU!

Must be his comfy jammies that finally fit him!

Here family...enjoy the videos!

Please excuse my hideous voice!

Update!

2010-08-03T22:03:00.000-07:00

Here's an update in pictures. It's been a busy weekend. Dad, Dani and her fiance Ryan all came into town, we had Megan's baby shower, Austin and Britt's wedding festivities, Cannon's baby blessing, and Dani's 21st birthday. It was a great weekend and we are so grateful for all the family that came to support us at Cannon's blessing. It was such a special day.

All my family is leaving in the morning...sad day. My mom and Bailey have been here for six weeks, and I'm so grateful for all the help they were. We honestly couldn't have done it without them! Good thing they're all coming back down in a month for Dani's wedding. Love you guys!

Um....

2010-08-03T11:18:00.000-07:00

Can we say cutest skirt EVER! I am going to start making one...with all the free time I have now that I have a newborn! Ha ok so I don't have a ton of free time but I'm still getting started on this, even if it takes me a month to get it finished! You can find find this cute girls Pinwheel Skirt tutorial over at Ucreate and make one too!

Then we'll all be twins.

Cute.

2010-07-26T19:23:00.000-07:00

Cannon Cannon Bo Bannon!

I don't even know where to start with my little bubba.

He has brought so much love and joy into our home.

I was scared to death to become a mom, but he has made it so easy for me.

I love seeing him smile in his sleep...late at night after I've nursed him.

He's so strong. He can hold his head up on his own, and has already rolled over

twice! Dad says he'll be playing varsity football in the 6th grade!

Dream on!

He will suck on anything! I'm pretty sure he'll be a thumb sucker for years to come...

just like his mommy!

Mmm I can't get enough of him!

Cannon honey, thanks for giving mommy something to love so much!

2010-07-15T21:32:00.000-07:00

I have loved becoming a mother.
Some days are hard,
but Bryce is there to remind me,
this is what I was born for.
I couldn't be more proud of him.
Being a daddy has come so naturally to him.
Seeing him love on Cannon is absolute bliss!
Life is good.

One of these days, I'll post the birth story.

He's taking over!

2010-07-07T22:48:00.000-07:00

Finally home from the hospital.

It was nice being taken care of for a few days,

But we're glad to be home.

Our Bubba continues to melt our hearts.

2010-07-06T22:34:00.000-07:00

I'm absolutely in love with my little bubba.

Precious, isn't he?

My little sugar!

2010-07-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

Cannon Bryce Clark

7 lbs 12 oz of sweet precious love!

I'll post another update later. Baby and I are both doing great!

Baby Shower!

2010-06-26T16:47:00.000-07:00

I had the most amazing baby shower in the history of the world!

Let me just take a minute to brag about my friend Leyla...

Not only did she go above and beyond to throw me such a gorgeous shower, but she has been there for me throughout my entire pregnancy. I don't know if I ever told the story about how I found out I was pregnant, but Leyla was over helping me get ready for a boutique and had some random feeling that I should take a pregnancy test...I thought she was totally wacko but she insisted and even drove to the store to buy me one. I went in the bathroom, and came out three minutes later bawling! She cried along with me (hers were excited tears, mine were scared to death tears) and listened to me say over and over that "Bryce is going to die, he doesn't want kids for at least 2 more years!" She waited in the craft room as my husband came walking in the house, only to meet his wife at the bottom of the stairs crying with a pregnancy test in front of his face saying "Leyla did not pee on this!" (She was also pregnant at the time!) If it weren't for her, I would have started beauty school the very next week, only to drop out once I found out I was prego. That sure saved us a billion dollars!

She took me shopping and bought me TONS of fun boy clothes. She came to my ultrasound appointment with me when Bryce was out of town...helped me register, etc, etc. Honestly I could go on forever.

Bottom line, everyone needs a friend like her. She has really made it impossible for me to ever repay her for the amazing friend she is!

Anyway...in case you haven't gotten the clue, Leyla threw me my shower. Here she is. Gorgeous isn't she?

Mom, me, GG, and Bailey. It has been amazing having my mom and sis in town. She cooks dinner for us every night, keeps my house spotless, gets me up and out of the house everyday, paints my toes, and well, keeps me sane. Its so fun having company at the house!
Here is Leyla and her mother in-law Jayme. Jayme was kind enough to let us have the shower in her beautiful home. I'm sure her and Leyla have been slaving away all week getting ready for this. Thank you both!

Me and my hot hubby. He came along for the fun!

My mother in-law. She also helped with the shower! Honestly, I feel so loved. So many people sacrificed so much time and service to make this day so special for me. I swear I opened 8 presents from her! She made me the cutest blankets and burp cloths!

He's so excited to be a daddy! Cody, Leyla, Me and Bryce. Cody and Bryce have been best of friends since...forever. We were all dating at the same time and got married a month apart. We are BFF couples! It's actually quite hilarious, people either think Leyla and I are sisters, or they get us totally mixed up all together. When we were all in the singles ward together, ladies would come up to Leyla and ask how Bryce was doing, or me how Cody was...in fact Leyla text me just last week and said she ran into one of the boys friends mom and she asked how Bryce was!

Bryce, Cody and baby Margot. (Cody and Leyla's beautiful daughter!) There is already an arranged marriage in the works.

Mom, cousin Toni, Aunt Annie, me, cousin Tenille, and Bay.

Bailey w/ one of Stefani's twins, me, Grandma, cousins Stefani, Alison, Natalie and aunt Donnie!

Cutest diaper cake EVER! (of course made by Leyla) Bryce said the thing he is most excited for are those jean diapers and some cowboy boots we got. Pretty sure if I leave him in charge of getting the baby ready, that's all he'll be wearing!

Ok here is a rag quilt Delight made me. It is DARLING! And matches his room absolutely perfect!

YAY!! Ok so me, mom and GG were on the hunt last week for a diaper bag. We walk into Nordstrom Rack and TADA! Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bags for way cheaper! Hello we could not be anymore excited! So I got the bag I wanted after all! I was a little worried that it had pink on it, and I'm having a boy but decided heck, I'm the one that has to carry it! It's pretty much my purse so it can be whatever color I want!

Wow, longest post of my life.

We had a wonderful day, and I'm now ready for this little sugar plum to come out!

Only seven more days till a human comes out of me!

HOLY CRAP.

Let the fun begin!

2010-06-16T19:23:00.000-07:00

Mom and Bailey got in town last night! Can you tell they are a little obsessed with my belly? Mom won't put down her camera...obviously! Anyway they'll be in town for about 7 weeks, and I couldn't be more excited!
The countdown is on. Less than 2 1/2 weeks till this little baby arrives!

Wish you were here with us Dad and Dani! We'll see you soon...Love you!

For real?

2010-06-11T15:00:00.000-07:00

$350 for a diaper bag?

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME "CAKE BY PETUNIA?"

OK so I knew these diaper bags were expensive...but I was thinking like $150 expensive...not $350 expensive!

Way to crush a woman's dreams.

Get a life.

PS...how cute did this itty bitty tie turn out? Can't wait to see it on my little shuggy!

Update!

2010-06-08T16:01:00.000-07:00

Sorry folks, I haven't had much to blog about lately. Husband finally came home to me. He actually came back a week earlier than he was supposed to. It's so good to have him home! My little sugar plum is continuing to grow healthy and strong. He is breech so it's looking like we are scheduling a c-section at 39 weeks, so he'll be here July 3rd! That's in 31/2 weeks people! Too scary to think about.

On to my latest finds. So, we all know I had given up on baby's nursery and was never going to step foot in a thrift store EVER again. Well I was starting to feel desperate and gave in. Totally got everything I needed in one day. Score!

This mirror came with the dresser I found. It ended up being the wrong mirror, but I love it, and there's a spot for it in the nursery.

Ok so I had given up on a dresser completely and was just going to use the desk for the changing table. But I found this dresser for $35, and it was exactly what I wanted. It's from the same bedroom set as the desk.

It was darling cream, but I was set on painting it like the desk to match the room. So Leyla (who by the way is my life saver/bff) came over and helped me paint it.

And the chair.. Not the cutest thing in the world. But it's super comfy and cost me $13. I just couldn't pass it up. Plus it's nothing some throw pillows can't dress up right?

And here's mama's request for a tummy pic. Grow belly grow! Not sure how it will get any bigger. P.s. my feet/cankles are hilariously swollen! Husband loves making finger prints in them! I took a picture of them but I'm too embarrassed to put it up. Ha.

Dear Daddy-

2010-05-06T15:46:00.000-07:00

Hi Dad! It's me, your son.

I really miss you, and I know mom does too. Sometimes I hear her crying, and I know she just needs a hug from you. I wish you were home so I didn't have to listen to that every day! I miss you talking to me through her tummy, and then hearing her talk back for me in that stupid baby voice of hers. You guys always make me laugh! The doctor took some pictures of me yesterday. Mom says I'm the most beautiful baby ever...she better say that, I'm her son! I'm growing healthy and strong, just like you Dad. Please hurry home, cause once you get back, then we just have four weeks left till I'm out of moms belly and in your arms! I love you.

Love,

Your little buckaroo.

P.s. Aunt Leyla bought me lots of cool clothes, I know you'll love them!

Oh and don't worry about mom too much, me and everyone else are taking real good care of her. I even heard her tell GG you should go out of town more often cause everyone is spoiling her, but don't tell her I told you!

Heart break town.

2010-04-26T17:12:00.000-07:00

For the last few months, I have shopped numerous thrift stores, and looked on Craigslist almost daily to find a chair and dresser for the nursery. Having no luck has become so frustrating. Trying to create my perfect nursery on a small budget is no easy task, but one I thought I could accomplish. After all, decorating that room was something I've been looking forward to.

Well last Thursday I asked Callie if she wanted to hit up some thrift stores with me...there are a lot down Main St. but they are not ones I feel comfortable going to alone. So kindly, she agreed. The first one we went to, I fell in love. With this old thing...

It was absolutely perfect. The colors, the vintage feel to it. Not to mention, it was pretty comfy. Picturing that chair in the nursery brought the whole room together. I finally had the vision I had been waiting for! There was no price tag on it so we flagged down an employee who told us it was $39.99. Which mind you, is a great price for a chair you're in love with. The man however, advised me to wait until Saturday when the whole store would be 50% off. Whats better than a $40 chair you're in love with? A $20 one. He told me it had been there for a while, and said if I showed up before the store opened Saturday morning, I would most likely get it. I text husband a picture thinking he would probably veto it since it was covered in flowers, but to my delighted surprise he said "Nice babe!" I figured anyone who saw that chair within the next 30 something hours would probably wait till Saturday as well, so as long as we got there bright and early Saturday morning, it was ours. Excited as could be I went home determined to finish the bedding and get some other decor hung on the wall. Friday night, Bryce went and got his dad's truck so we could haul that baby home the next morning. I set my alarm, and tried to get a little shut eye, but was way too excited to get much sleep. We woke up and off we were. Who would've thought a crowd of people would wait outside for Goodwill to open? It was for sure a sight to see. After waiting 30 minutes, and making friends with a couple sweet old ladies, the doors were unlocked and the waiting crowd went storming in. We went running back to the furniture and I frantically looked around...but the chair was no where in sight. IT WAS GONE. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I'm not kidding. In fact I'm kind of disgusted at how heart broken I am over this chair people. I've been kicking myself for the last two days. Why didn't I just buy the freaking chair for $40? How could I let that stupid man talk me in to waiting till Saturday. Bryce tried to reassure me that I'll find a chair I love even more...give me a break I told him. "I loved that chair to the max my heart could love, there's no possible way I'll find one I love more." he sat there for a minute and said

"You loved that chair as much as you love me?"

"For a piece of furniture husband!"

So I guess I'm writing this post in hopes that somehow, somewhere, the person who bought that chair is reading my blog and will feel sorry and let me buy it from them.

Lessons learned...

-Trying to save money screws you over. Haha.

-If you find something you love, buy it. Right away. Only if you need it of course.

-NEVER EVER trust Goodwill man.

-And never fall in love with a piece of furniture. It will end up breaking your heart.

Things still needed- chair :( dresser, curtains, and hanging bird cages. Unfortunately I now have no desire to get it finished. Poo.

Lately...

2010-04-21T15:49:00.000-07:00

I feel like my life should be super busy right now, but then I get too tired to be busy and nothing gets done! It takes all my energy to get showered and ready for the day. Then it's nap time. What a loser.

Anyway, husband and I got to go to San Diego for a week. It was our last vacation before the baby comes. It was so nice being able to relax and visit all our favorite places from last summer. I've been craving Panera Bread (kind of like paradise bakery but in San Diego) my entire pregnancy and was finally able to eat my long awaited "bacon turkey bravo sandwich!" Heaven on earth. Bryce leaves again in a week and a half and will be gone for 5 weeks...ugh. Moving on.

I'm getting huge. In fact I lied to the lady at hobby lobby the other day and told her I was farther along then I really am. Stupid, I know. I have two maxi dresses that I wear every day, along with my Victoria Secret sweats. Cute. I bet one of these days husband will throw them in the trash cause he's so sick of seeing them :D

Another sneak peek of the progress in the nursery. Slowly but surely it's coming along. I'm having lots of fun and may be a little too anxious to get it done. This becomes a problem when I have zero energy.

And here are the onesies I made...I have stuff to make more, just haven't gotten around to it. I'm having a hard time finding plain colored onesies. Anyone have any idea?

Before

After

Bryce told me it was ironic that my peace sign was made out of camo, because "Most people who wear camo shoot things. It should be a gun." I think not.

Hey you out there...

2010-04-15T20:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Mommy-

I would like the following to be awaiting my arrival come July 10th. Please and thank you!

Love,

Your little babe who wishes to be stylin!

I've been making some fun little onesies for my cutie pie, pics to come soon!

To my Parents...

2010-04-13T11:40:00.000-07:00

Happy 26th Anniversary!

Thank you...

For your examples of hard work and dedication to your marriage, and our family.

For teaching me the importance of a temple marriage.

For showing me that love is a choice.

For sticking through the hard times,

and for working together to be such good parents to us kids.

I'm grateful I have such good examples to look to as I begin my journey as a wife and mother. I love you.

Now go out and celebrate...you deserve it!

Sneak Peek!

2010-03-30T16:57:00.000-07:00

I started making the baby bedding...

I think my little sugar plum will love his nursery!

I'm back!

2010-03-24T15:59:00.000-07:00

Wow, I've been MIA for quite some time! I was in Idaho for 8 days and came home to no internet. Somehow it magically started working today after a week of being dead. Hallelujah.

I had lots of fun visiting my family. But I'm sure they were more than ready to send me back home to husband! They heard plenty of complaining and got sick of hearing the words "I can't, I'm pregnant!" Haha.

"Bree, shut the door." "I can't, I'm pregnant!" What a great excuse to have for 9 months!

Bailey and I, getting our "Lady Gaga" on.

Sissy, Mama, and Me.

Our odd obsession of taking pictures in stupid things!

We drove to Salt Lake for my cousins wedding and had so much fun driving in the car. NOT. My back sucks, and Bailey and Dani got in a punching fight. I wish I had a video of it cause I was shedding some major laughter tears in the back seat watching.

Taking pictures outside the temple in the snow/rain. It was freezing!

This is how I felt by the middle of the day...you can only imagine me that night.

Mama and her girls. Don't they all look cute sporting their Laceybloom goodies I sent them for Christmas!? We also talked mom into letting me highlight Bailey's hair for the first time! It turned out darling sis!

Poor Dad was the only boy the whole trip. He acts like we drive him bonkers but we all know the truth! He just can't get enough of us!

Well family thanks for putting up with me! See you all when I resemble an elephant! Love!

Ps...I have the best husband in the world. He surprised me and painted babys nursery while I was gone. Pics to come soon!

Ghetto hippo!

2010-02-23T16:01:00.000-08:00

While laying in bed the other night...

Me: "Husband, did you ask for a hippopotamus for Christmas?"

Hubs: ....look of confusion.

Me: (pointing to my belly) "Cause that's what you got!"

Hubs: "Did that really just come to your head?" (While laughing his face off!)

Me: "Yeah, I'm funny remember?"

cricket.

.......................................

While cooking dinner, blasting Rhianna, and shakin what my mama gave me...

Hubs: Walks into the kitchen "What the heck are you listening to?"

Me: "Rhianna duh."

Hubs: Chuckles out loud "My cute little ghetto wife!"

Me: "Ghetto?" With a look that says take that back before I throw your dinner in the trash.

Hubs: Droppin it like it's hot in the middle of the kitchen, not hearing a word I'm saying.

So, obviously I'm ghetto and not as funny as I think I am!

In other news-

*The little sugar plum in my tummy is a hyper one...especially when I'm trying to go to sleep at night. He's trying his hardest to push my belly button out. Good luck with that son.

* My 22nd birthday is this Sunday. Yikes! How did that happen?

*I'm heading to Idaho in 2 weeks to visit the fam... they get to witness me in all my preggy glory!

So here's the story...

2010-02-18T12:45:00.000-08:00

Bryce and I had our first ultrasound appointment February 1st. I hadn't been to the Dr. yet (bad I know, I've heard it) for insurance reasons, and was starting to get nervous that A, I didn't REALLY have a baby in my stomach and 2, if I did, there was more than one. So husband called this ultrasound clinic and made me an appointment. The night before I was up all night crying, scared to death of what I was to find out the next day. So what, I'm a cry baby with major anxiety... as husband would say G.O.I (get over it.) Anyway, the drive to Phoenix the next day was miserable. I thought I would throw up the whole way there. We got there in one piece, the lady starts the ultrasound and says "oh it looks like a girl!" (Those who have talked to me know I really, really wanted a girl) She wasn't positive though, and before she could tell for sure, our little man crossed his legs and therefore we couldn't see a thing. So she sent us home with an appointment to come back the next week. I was disappointed, but relieved to know that there was only 1 baby in my stomach and it was alive! I tried not to get my hopes up about it being a girl, but that's asking the impossible. I even planned her nursery. So the next Monday rolls around and it's time for that ultrasound. We had the same girl, who moved that little wand around for a good ten minutes not being able to see a thing. I was getting worried we would leave without a for sure answer when all of a sudden...there it was, plain as day. Proof that inside my big belly was a BOY! That had to be something else right? I acted as though I didn't see it...I asked her to point it out to me even though it was right in front of my face. I guess those Clarks really don't produce girls. We got in the car and Bryce looked at my quivering chin with a face that said "It's OK to cry." So I did. The tears didn't stop ALL. DAY. LONG. I was supposed to be a mom to girls. I can deal with their emotions and drama...boys on the other hand, well I just don't get them.

Now I know what you're all thinking. "What a freaking brat. She's going to be a horrible mom." But give me a break, I'm allowed to be a brat for a day. The next day I woke up knowing I needed an attitude change. That little baby was my beautiful son... that I chose. That I loved. Who cares that I had already planned a girl nursery and am bomb at making cute headbands! This little boy is going to teach me things I need to learn. He is going to love me like a girl couldn't love me. I'm so excited for him to join our family!

P.S. I am having so much fun imagining his nursery. I think it will come together quite nicely!

So here are the colors I chose. We went to home depot and picked out a paint sample. The walls, obviously will be the blue.

I am adoring this yellow crib. I'm scoping out Craigslist for the perfect one to paint...if anyone has one, let me know! I don't want a new one.

I found some fabric similar to this at JoAnns, along with a green corduroy. They looked darling together! Unless I find something I like better...this and the corduroy will be what I make the bedding/curtains out of!

I'm wanting to get a good collection of old frames to paint white and make a collage of. I think it will look cute on the blue wall!

Dear Chair-

You are beautiful. Where oh where can I find something similar to you that won't cost me a million dollars? That simply won't do.

Sincerely,

Mother to-be that looks like a whale who just wants a cute chair.

So a while back I painted my sewing desk (with the help of my dear friend Leyla!) for my boutique display, I think it turned out pretty freaking cute. Whimsical isn't it? Something like this would be perfect in the nursery. I'll have to find a dresser or something to paint because we all know baby boy doesn't need a desk in his room yet. Unless he turns out to be some genius who pops out of the womb doing calculus.